Some much needed love and rock n roll...

I was recently reminded that I need to write about love and rock n roll since that is what I said I would do (its in the tagline under the name of my blog). I heard last week that one of my all-time favorite bands, Further Seems Forever, is reuniting with the original lineup which includes Chris Carabba, the singer of Dashboard Confessional. I am stoked because they were amazing and I'm really looking forward to hearing them again. I am also interested to hear what Underoath's new album will sound like since it will be the first taste of life in the post-Aaron era.

As for love, well there has been plenty of that for a while now. I should write about it huh? I was able to head up north this past weekend to spend some time with my beautiful girlfriend. Things have been pretty rough for me the past few weeks so time with her was a much needed dose of love and comfort. She is amazing and I am very blessed to have her in my life.

As far as life goes, this rainy San Diego weather is awesome, except for the fact that most of my commuting is done via bicycle. I like it nonetheless though.

Keep your head up because God loves you. Until next time...

Diary of a hypocrite

Who am I? A couple of days, weeks, months even years ago I could have told you. I'm not so sure anymore. I used to be crazy, fun, truly happy. What happened? Did life knock the wind out of me? Have I just grown out of it? I don't think so...

I have a confession to make. In my last post I talked about how being positive. I have been failing at being positive for quite a while now, and have continued the trend even since the last post. Well I have no right to give advice that I am not going to apply to my own life. It hit me today while I was journaling at a local coffee joint. I listened to the song Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek which goes like this:

"What will be left when I've drawn my last breath,
besides the folks that I've met and the folks who know me,
Will I discover a soul saving love,
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
but I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward,
if there's a master of death I'll bet he's holding his breath,
as I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
cause I don't know what's safe
oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
when I'm scared I'll find proof that its a lie
can I be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs
that prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
please forgive me for the time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
though I know nothing's safe
oh me of little faith"

It hit me like a ton of bricks, cliche I know, but so very true nonetheless. I don't want to live like this. I am going through a rough patch but I can't sit here and tell people that I'm a Christian and how I believe that God is watching over us and things will get better and then turn around and complain and question God. I need to do a better job of living out my faith and walking the talk. I had a good chat with friend of mine tonight about doubting and faith. Him sharing what was on his heart really helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings. My goal for the rest of the week is to live life to the fullest and find some of that long lost joy.

When it rains it pours...except in San Diego

Hello internet world. Its been way too long and the ironic thing is that in my last post I claimed to try to keep this thing more up to date. FAIL! Anyway, life has been busy lately. I'm still working for Coronado Rec and Warren Walker as well as helping out with the Jr. High youth group at San Diego First Church of the Nazarene. I am looking for a change of scenery though. Not as in location but as far as work goes. I need something more steady and better paying, whether that be more hours or more wages.

Other than work and youth group not much has been going on in my life. I have been spending my free time playing smash brothers with my roommates, reading, keeping up with the wide world of sports as well as working hard to bring home another fantasy football title, haha. Speaking of football, just today a huge deal sent Randy Moss from the Patriots to the Vikings which very easily puts the Vikings in a position to go to the Super Bowl. If they do make it to Arlington in February they might have to get thru a Steel Curtain to win a ring. ;)

I know not many people read this thing but if you do or happen to wander on here somehow just keep in mind God's goodness and mercy. Even though things don't always go smooth or how we want, God is in control and will take care of us. Count your blessings and live in thankfulness rather than worry and complaint; it does wonders for your attitude as well as those you come in contact with.

Go Steelers!

Sooo, I know its been awhile but...

Contrary to popular belief, I am still alive. Since the last time you read about me I went to Africa, interned at a church for a summer, saw Charlie Sheen in Hollywood, started dating someone (and still am <3) and graduated from college. I kinda slacked off there for a while with the whole keeping this thing updated thing (sorry blogosphere). Currently I am working for the City of Coronado Recreation Department and loving it. I am also helping out at a junior high youth group and taking a graduate school class (which I should be working on a paper for but this is way more fun). I stayed in San Diego after I graduated and I'm just kinda trying to figure out what's next for me. I will try to keep this thing more up to date. I'm gonna go try to get more done on this paper...

Traneyaw: Future World Traveler

So finals week is wrapping up (sort of, I still have 2 more tomorrow and I'm working on a paper). This is the end of one of the fastest years of my life and it still hasn't hit me that we are leaving. This weekend I will be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything thing out of my dorm room, get all packed up for my mission trip and find time to hang out with people before we part ways. My parents and brother are coming out to spend some time with me before I head off to Africa. I am going to Rwanda on a 3 week mission trip and we will be leaving monday nite. I am getting pretty excited, but I cannot reach my full potential of excitement until all this school junk is off of my mind; so pretty much tomorrow after my finals are over and if I'm not on the verge of falling asleep I think the fact that I will be in a completely foreign land in about 4 days will start to take effect. I still need to figure out what the rest of my summer will entail. I hope to find an internship upon my return to the states. I'm starting to fade, so I need to work on this paper while I'm still functioning, goodnite.

Dealing with the pain

There has been a lot of death in my life lately, some not directly related to me, but some that hurts a lot. Last friday there were two tragedies in Phoenix. Two news helicopters crashed into each other killing both pilots and on the same day a Phoenix police officer was killed trying to make a shoplifting arrest. Although these instances are not directly related to me, it is still painful especially when the funerals are aired on tv and I see the pain that the family and friends are experiencing. On a more me-related note, a member of my family passed away last night. Our pet cockatiel Larry Bird deceased around 11:30 pm and maybe whoever reads this may think, "so what its just a stupid bird..." but if you have a pet at home and love them like they are a brother or a sister you understand. My brother and I received Larry as a birthday gift in 1997 and it is a big deal to lose a pet after almost 10 years. My freshmen football coach/jr high PE teacher passed away a few weeks ago, and I was unable to make it to his funeral. I also received word that a family friend from an old church of ours passed away recently and this was hard to deal with because he was like a grandfather to us. This may seem like just a bunch of rambling to most, but I just felt like I needed to get some stuff off my chest. To all of you mentioned, I hope that you are looking down upon us, watching over us with God up in heaven. I would like to leave you with this, "If we live in hearts we leave behind, then we will never die." That is a quote from one of my favorite bands that broke up a few years ago. Larry, Coach Pete, and Evrett: I will never forget you guys and I just want to thank you for what you meant to me and the impact you had on my life. May God bless the families of some of Phoenix's finest as they go on without those they lost...

Chapter 458: The Summer of 07

I have been home for the past two weeks and let's just say that I miss San Diego just a little. I started my new job at a watermelon farm a few days upon returning to the desert and it has been an interesting experience to say the least. The first morning that I arrived at the farm (keep in mind that I wake up at 4 am and start work at 4:45 am) I was, without being introduced to anyone or even meeting my boss, handed some keys to a 15 passenger van and told to drive the inmates to the fields. Two weeks later I have found my place and know what is expected of me everyday and working with the inmates is a blast, they never cease to make me laugh. I have seen more sunsets in the past two weeks than I have during the rest of my life combined. I am looking forward to the part of my summer after I quit working and I can go have some fun without waking up while the sun is still sleeping. I am going to San Diego for vacation this next week then I will work for a few more weeks after that then I will see where the wind carries me, all I know is that I want to make a trip up the the Four Corners (where Arizona, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico meet) with my brother and homie Jake. Hopefully camp meeting works out again this year and definitely gonna have to set some time aside to kick it back in the 623. Hopefully all y'all's summer is going splendid and I would love to hear from anyone. Hit me up on email: ahickman100@ptloma.edu or cell: 520-483-7493. God Bless!