Some much needed love and rock n roll...

I was recently reminded that I need to write about love and rock n roll since that is what I said I would do (its in the tagline under the name of my blog). I heard last week that one of my all-time favorite bands, Further Seems Forever, is reuniting with the original lineup which includes Chris Carabba, the singer of Dashboard Confessional. I am stoked because they were amazing and I'm really looking forward to hearing them again. I am also interested to hear what Underoath's new album will sound like since it will be the first taste of life in the post-Aaron era.

As for love, well there has been plenty of that for a while now. I should write about it huh? I was able to head up north this past weekend to spend some time with my beautiful girlfriend. Things have been pretty rough for me the past few weeks so time with her was a much needed dose of love and comfort. She is amazing and I am very blessed to have her in my life.

As far as life goes, this rainy San Diego weather is awesome, except for the fact that most of my commuting is done via bicycle. I like it nonetheless though.

Keep your head up because God loves you. Until next time...

Diary of a hypocrite

Who am I? A couple of days, weeks, months even years ago I could have told you. I'm not so sure anymore. I used to be crazy, fun, truly happy. What happened? Did life knock the wind out of me? Have I just grown out of it? I don't think so...

I have a confession to make. In my last post I talked about how being positive. I have been failing at being positive for quite a while now, and have continued the trend even since the last post. Well I have no right to give advice that I am not going to apply to my own life. It hit me today while I was journaling at a local coffee joint. I listened to the song Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek which goes like this:

"What will be left when I've drawn my last breath,
besides the folks that I've met and the folks who know me,
Will I discover a soul saving love,
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
but I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward,
if there's a master of death I'll bet he's holding his breath,
as I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
cause I don't know what's safe
oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
when I'm scared I'll find proof that its a lie
can I be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs
that prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
please forgive me for the time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
though I know nothing's safe
oh me of little faith"

It hit me like a ton of bricks, cliche I know, but so very true nonetheless. I don't want to live like this. I am going through a rough patch but I can't sit here and tell people that I'm a Christian and how I believe that God is watching over us and things will get better and then turn around and complain and question God. I need to do a better job of living out my faith and walking the talk. I had a good chat with friend of mine tonight about doubting and faith. Him sharing what was on his heart really helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings. My goal for the rest of the week is to live life to the fullest and find some of that long lost joy.

When it rains it pours...except in San Diego

Hello internet world. Its been way too long and the ironic thing is that in my last post I claimed to try to keep this thing more up to date. FAIL! Anyway, life has been busy lately. I'm still working for Coronado Rec and Warren Walker as well as helping out with the Jr. High youth group at San Diego First Church of the Nazarene. I am looking for a change of scenery though. Not as in location but as far as work goes. I need something more steady and better paying, whether that be more hours or more wages.

Other than work and youth group not much has been going on in my life. I have been spending my free time playing smash brothers with my roommates, reading, keeping up with the wide world of sports as well as working hard to bring home another fantasy football title, haha. Speaking of football, just today a huge deal sent Randy Moss from the Patriots to the Vikings which very easily puts the Vikings in a position to go to the Super Bowl. If they do make it to Arlington in February they might have to get thru a Steel Curtain to win a ring. ;)

I know not many people read this thing but if you do or happen to wander on here somehow just keep in mind God's goodness and mercy. Even though things don't always go smooth or how we want, God is in control and will take care of us. Count your blessings and live in thankfulness rather than worry and complaint; it does wonders for your attitude as well as those you come in contact with.

Go Steelers!